I have found that in order to focus on the present, I must have a clear story about my past, a songline to keep me from wandering too far towards selfishness and greed, towards hatred and suffering without the love and the discipline to give those things meaning and structure. Yes, some of my ancestors were atrocious capitalist assholes. Some of them were rapists and murderers. Some of them were abusive, and some of them were abused. Most of them were quite ordinary, with honor and integrity and compassion, who did the right thing, for the most part. It was in facing the shadows of my past, that I could face the shadows of the present, and also of the future. I don’t shrink away from the pain and suffering, because it has context.

I talk to my ancestors, because it works. You have lots and lots of ancestors to choose from, going back well over 100,000 years. Surely one of them you can draw strength and courage from. It only takes one.

Honor comes from within. It can’t be given to you by any corporate or government structure. It can’t really truly be taught by a teacher. You have to find it inside of you, and feed it to make it grow stronger than the fear and anger and despair and pain. Because it is within you, it can’t ever be taken away from you by anybody. But they can make you forget.

I have the stubborn blood of Scots-Irish-German-Russian flowing in my veins, with a long history of fighting Roman colonialism through trickery and deception when sheer might with weaponry didn’t work. We also let the winter weather kill off our occupiers on more than one occasion. Nature is very strong, and the bank accounts of those who would destroy the environment through the relentless extraction of resources without a care for the next generation’s ability to live on the land without dying of starvation or cancer, don’t stand a chance against her, not over enough time.

Whether or not humans go extinct from the vast environmental destruction on colossal scale throughout the planet is not in your hands. How you respond to the destruction of the local ecosystems with the time you personally have left alive is in your hands. Your character, regardless of the outcome, how you face death, with your head held high knowing that you did your best, you did what you knew was right, that is in your hands.