I rewatched the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie yesterday.  Jack Sparrow is always good for inspiration.  The breathing in of his character’s way of moving through the world works pretty well.  You know what the Black Pearl is?  Freedom.  He knows exactly what he wants.  He just isn’t quite sure how to get there from here.  I want my shoulder to work again without pain.  I’m not sure how to get there from here.  Along the way, complications arise.  Well, life is like that, eh?

No matter how hard things get, no matter where Jack finds himself, he never gives up his dream.  Taking his ship back from cursed people who can’t die?  That is totally possible, even if improbable, and it is one courageous decision at a time that gets him there.

The thing about pirates, is that they are not hierarchies.  They don’t obey authority out of loyalty.  They obey authority if it gets them closer towards their goal than not doing so.  The only rule is: what a man can do, and what a man can’t do.  That’s some serious heresy right there.  Every organized religion in the world is against that right there.  That right there is free will.  It is the Satanic equivalent moral code: “Do what though wilt shall be the whole of the law.”  There is no worshipping the powerful undead, only negotiation, parley, bargaining.  Captain Barbosa is a trickster.  If you don’t specify that you get left behind when the Black Pearl leaves and never returns in exchange for the medallion?  You go with.  The lawyer training in me smirks in amusement.  You can never cover all contingencies with your increasingly complicated negotiations.

So why is it that people deal with the Devil, then?  Why do people deal with tricksters when they know the trickster will exploit every loophole?  And why is it that tricksters seem to keep their bargains instead of just taking what they want by force?  Why can’t tricksters just do what they wilt?  I don’t have a good answer, and obviously some of them are not bound by bargains at all.  How do I know you’ll keep your word?  I don’t.  Unless you are honorable.

If you are an honorable person, then doing what thou wilt is not the whole of your law.  Not by a long shot.  Instead, you do what you were tricked into saying you would do, even if it feels wrong.  You keep your word, even if it does not benefit you.  You obey authority, even if it does not benefit you.  This means, you’ll take the drugs your doctor prescribes, even if you are sure that a lifestyle change is what you really need instead.  Maybe what you really need is to not be abused by the people around you, to feel safe because somebody has your back instead of stabbing you in it instead of pills.  Maybe you shouldn’t drink milk when you’re lactose intolerant, even if your doctor insists you need the calcium for strong bones.

Sometimes authorities are full of bison large intestinal contents.  Sometimes, they order you to do things that don’t make sense in your specific situation.  Sometimes, they order you to do things that don’t make sense in general because nobody thought about the real assumptions and looked at the demographics.  Do people who never drink dairy products because they come from a race of people who are lactose intolerant really have higher rates of osteoporosis?  Really?  No, they don’t.

The scientific method is broken, because it only looks at one little material thing.  It doesn’t look at the energy side of the equation.  It doesn’t look at the stories.  The meaning is just as important as the physical reality.  That’s why it is important to acknowledge the power of corporations and governments and religions and the pharmaceutical industry, even if technically those are just ideas and make believe.  That is why it is important to consider yourself a pirate.  As a pirate, you are not required to obey any authority out there if it does not benefit you.  That is magic.  How do we act, when we realize that all governments exist by magic, all property ownership exists by magic, and all currencies exist by magic?  I don’t know about you, but maybe magic is important enough to dedicate quite some time to studying how it works.

Maybe I should use all of the tools presently at my disposal to get closer to my end goal of freedom.  One small step at a time.

I’ve got a little PTSD problem.  It took quite a bit for me to admit to myself that I had the problem in the first place.  See, my identity is a brave and non-anxious warrior who is capable of fighting and running and emotional self-control.  However, I am human, and there are some things I’m terrified about.  I found the Litany Against Fear to be quite helpful. I took the time to remember the scary memories and too look at why I was so damn afraid. Well, it turns out I had good reasons to be terrified at the time. When I compared the situation then to the situation now? Nope. It is not rational to be afraid now, at least not overwhelmingly so.

I’m afraid that my body will fail me, that I’ll be trapped and helpless, that people will invade my bodily integrity without my consent, and without explaining what is going on. Sounds reasonable to be afraid of that, no? And, it will happen again, statistically speaking. When I stare at my fear as a grown adult, I can accept that I don’t always control what my body does, that sometimes it will fail me. I can accept that I will not always be able to fight or flee, that sometimes I will be stuck in a state of pain and suffering with no foreseeable way out. I can accept that sometimes people are assholes, authoritarian egomaniacs, and the like. Once I face my fears, I can look within myself, and see where it goes. I can see that I’ve created an imagined identity for myself that is at odds with my lived bodily experience. I can change that identity just enough to incorporate my non-perfection.

Accepting my body’s non-perfection, I can use what I’ve got. Accepting my trapped nature, I can find other things that I’m not helpless about. Accepting that some people are assholes, I can show compassion and strengthen the non-assholes, and let them know that they are not alone. Together, we overcome our fears. But first we have to look at them, to stop avoiding the pain, the suffering, the sorrow.  Perhaps I am more than a warrior.

Let’s see here, since I last wrote, we’ve had the Las Vegas shooting incident, Hurricane what’s her name absolutely destroying the critical infrastructure of Puerto Rico, the Catalona vote, Japan seeking to purchase nukes from the US, a mainstream article declaring that the UK oil industry only has about a decade of production left, a wrapping up of the US Senate’s Russia-Trump investigation, The Saudi King visiting Moscow, and the Fukushima operator given the green light to restart nuclear reactors.  Okay, so it has been one of those intensely emotional newsweeks then.

Already, there is speculation that Puerto Rico will only gain electricity a few months from now, which means they are going to die in large numbers because they have no crops left and their water system is a mess.  While Germany sends resources to help, the US, well, I suppose paper towels are resources?  Meanwhile, Dominica and Haiti have also suffered substantial losses, and nobody talks about them much in my circle of friends and news.  Probably has something to do with the US citizens in Puerto Rico, and the debt that can never be repaid?

There is also rampant speculation that the Las Vegas shooter was, shall we say, helped significantly by the Deep State to increase the feasibility of police State overreach and gun control.  Normally, I’d be all over this stuff, because I love conspiracy theories.  The more woo-woo and bat-shit crazy, the better for my entertainment.  Yeah, the chances of somebody showing up with that much ammo and guns, and removing that heavy of a window all by himself without training, and with an injury preventing him from lifting much does sound just a little bit farfetched to me, although still within the realm of dedicated premeditated possibility.  Was he a lone shooter on anti-depressants again?  Was he MK-Ultraed?  Do I care anymore?

Once again, I find myself with toxic news burnout.  There’s always a Hurricane, or an Earthquake, or a Tsunami, or a Terror Attack, whether false flag or not.  It really doesn’t matter to me whether the guy had help or not, because the outcome is the same: more divide and conquer and more police interference in daily life.  That’s just another POSIWID benefit.  We don’t care about the shooter’s intentions.  We don’t care about Mr. Global’s intentions in attempting to create a cashless society.  We only care about what actually physically happens.  It makes a lot of things simpler just to consider things that way.  What happens?  Fear fear fear.

With that much fear hanging around in the air, people isolate themselves.  They don’t reach out to each other for help, or just simple companionship.  Some people do, who have been taught appropriate manners and coping mechanisms.  Some people do, who have an active meditation practice, and can see the fear for what it is, toxic, and where it comes from, seeing the inevitable pain and suffering of the entire planet.  That’s what you’ve got on social media, by the way.  Even through the lies, you can see the fear, the knowing they’re being lied to, the knowing they’re lying to everybody else, saying everything is fine.  When it isn’t fine.  How could it be fine?  Most people, when they witness pain and suffering on any scale, aren’t fine.  They have sympathy pain and suffering too.

Today, I acknowledge that I am afraid of some things, and that I feel pain, and that I suffer.  Oh, but those people over there are suffering more!  Yeah, that may be true.  However, there are always people “more” than you.  More intelligent, more hungry, faster, more frightened, more disabled, more compassionate, more awake, more selfish, more successful, happier, and more depressed, than you will ever be.  Don’t let anybody diminish your pain that you feel.  Don’t let anybody diminish your worth, your sanity, your ability to make good decisions with the limited information you have.  Don’t let anybody tell you that you have to be sad for anybody else all the time.  If you look for evil and sadness in the world you will always find it.  Instead, look for happiness.  Look for the truth, even when it is surrounded by lies upon lies.  Don’t live your life in fear.