It must be in the stars or the water or something.  Three separate and unrelated groups of online friends of mine are all imploding at exactly the same time.  There’s a bunch of dirty laundry out there coming to light, and I just (sigh), I don’t want to pick sides.  I don’t want to dig into the details.  What is wrong with me?  Normally I’d be all over that truth-finding judgmental shtick.

People sometimes call me an old soul or a magician.  Perhaps all that means is that I tend to see things from a wider and more level-headed perspective than they do, although not always.  I’m prone to blind spots, the same as anybody else.  I do want to know the truth, usually.  It helps shrink my blind spots.  Yet, not right now.  Not for petty stuff hundreds of miles away.  Perhaps that’s my emotional boundaries talking.  It is not my business.  It doesn’t affect my day-to-day life, nor does it really affect my long-term goals.

There’s a lot of character assassination going on out there right now.  People are destroying other people’s reputations left and right.  Sometimes justifiably, sometimes not.  That’s the chaos of the cloud, eh?  There is a lot more public information out there than there was even 10 years ago.  According to fiction and myth, destroying reputations is very effective.  Shunning is effective at killing people.  Then again, verbal and emotional abuse is also effective at killing people, given enough time.

Having given up perfection, I sometimes long for the easy solution: to know for sure that I am a good person.  That is no longer an option.  I know for sure that I have a dark shadow side, and a bright shining light side, and a mystical shimmery grey and colorful side.  I have no need to kill any of them, and attempting to do so merely feeds them and increases their power.

As my communities end, I grieve.  I mourn their passing.  I learned a lot from them all.  Perhaps it is time to do something different.  After all, endings are also beginnings, and contain within them opportunities.  Darkness has fallen.  Darkness has come.  May it be that you see the sunrise shine upon you in the mourning.