You don’t have to put up with toxic people in your life.  You don’t have to put up with toxic organizations in your life either.  There are things you can do, to not feed them if they are narcissists, or to shatter their illusions if they think that you gave away your power to them.

I know, I know, what was I thinking?  I joined a few fakebook groups about how men are assholes.  I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.  Yet, at the same time, I do need to know what kind of behavior is not tolerated.  That’s the downside of growing up a wee bit on the Asperger’s side.  I still need access to conversations that tell me what the social conventions are.  At the same time, that means I’m surrounding myself with losers.

So, let’s say you’ve got a “friend” who is an asshole.  My friends tell me I’m married to one, but looking around, meh, I could’ve done so much worse.  It could be a parent, although I don’t really have toxic parents, and neither does my husband.  It could be a toxic church culture, a toxic work culture, whatever.  In your lifetime, you are going to come into contact with toxic people.  The question is, what are you going to do about it?

First, you don’t have to put up with it.  You are not a slave.  You can leave.  If your school teacher is verbally abusive, you can switch teachers, or be homeschooled, or go to a different school.  If your church is religiously abusive, you can leave.  The Constitutional right to peaceably assemble includes the right to leave.

Sometimes, you don’t want to leave, because the benefits outweigh the harms, however slightly.  Sometimes, you can get the toxic person to leave instead.  Sometimes, you can get the toxic person to change their behavior towards you.  You’ve got a few options in this situation.  You can try your basic “fuck off.”  You can try the safer for work “go jump in a lake.”  You can even use the all powerful “No.”  Without explanation.  Just no.  My favorite?  Laughter.

You want me to do what?  (long uncontrollable laughter)  You know that’s illegal right?  You know that’s not possible or practical, right?  That is the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard!  Do you really expect me to believe your lies about my friend?  What on Earth made you think I’d believe that?  Did you really think I’d believe that you’re better at handling the finances than I am?  Did you really think you could get me to believe that I was stupid or immoral instead of you?  What planet are you from?

Cowardly bullies hate being laughed at.  You’re not an easy mark.  You don’t do fear easily.