This week is a busy week, for a variety of reasons.  We had houseguests over the weekend, so there was extra cleaning and cooking involved.  The fish died.  It is the last week of public school for my three children.  I’ve got three doctor’s appointments.  There are band instruments to remember to take to school, meds to remember to pick up from the office on the last day of school, safe treats for the allergy kid to take to school, a recognition ceremony, swimming lessons, a field trip to plan for, soccer practice, and a meeting with the school principal, along with other longer term planning to do.

One of my kids is sick.  The best laid plans will always fail, one way or another.  Murphy’s Law states it best: anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  Nassim Taleb agrees, and asks you to consider the risk of ruin.  What is the absolute worst thing that could go wrong?  This is actually an emotional centering type of activity, because, having thought of the worst possible thing, you aren’t completely blindsided by it when it occurs, and can roll with the punches that life inevitably throws at you.

If one of my children were to be expelled from public school, I could deal with that.  It wouldn’t be a bad thing.  No, it would be an opportunity.  If I find out that I need surgery, it isn’t the end of the world.  That’s an opportunity for my children to learn how to run the household.  Having accepted that bad things can happen, most of the time, they don’t.  Proper Prior Planning Prevents emotional meltdowns on my part.

A week like this requires a greater amount of meditation.  Here I am.  I am okay with whatever happens.  I am still here.  I will never be safe, this body is going to die.  Yet, I’m not dead yet.  I don’t control the world.  I don’t even control my own bodily functions all the time.  I don’t say, this wound will scar and this one won’t.  I don’t say, this muscle will tear and this one won’t when I crash my bicycle.  Yet, I do have enough control over my bodily actions to breathe, to relax when I can, to find some chance to laugh.  I do have enough control over my emotions to treat people with respect and dignity, to disobey them when necessary, to speak the litany against fear and manufacture rage when I must, and then look inward to see where my emotions have led.

Contrary to the public face I may present to the outside world, I suffer from fear, anger, despair, rage, love, joy, female PMS, a mother bear’s protective instinct, and all of the other intense emotions.  Yeah, emotions lead to suffering, but then, not having emotions is also suffering.  Life is suffering.  That’s where you are.  The question is, what will you do about it?  What makes the pain worth it?