There are a number of self-help authors out there, who try to get you to describe what your best self would look like 5 years from now.  The hope is that if you write it down on paper, you’re more likely to actually hold yourself accountable to that kind of goal.  A bit like how a sigil is supposedly going to work.  Some of them go further, though.  Some of them get the person to describe what horrible things will happen to them if they continue on down the road they are currently on.

What’s the worst that my bad habits can bring me?  Well, I’d be alone with no friends.  My family will be too busy to spend any time with me.  I would have no job, no career, no point, no joy in getting up each morning and knowing that what I was going to do that day would matter in the grand scheme of things, disconnected.  Okay.  So I’d be a hermit.  Great!  Then I could write books without getting interrupted all the time!  That doesn’t really sound all that bad.

No, that’s not hell.  Hell is other people.  Hell is working a pointless make-work job for a psychopathic boss who decides to mentally torment me by constantly belittling me, and making sure to point out every single mistake I’ve ever made, while never ever saying “good job” if I happen to get it right for once.  Hell is being made responsible for getting something done and not having the authority to get it done.  It is being overwhelmed by the sheer constant chatter of noise, making public speeches on a regular basis, being openly criticized for those same speeches on an even more regular basis, and having people be so busy attacking me that the entire enterprise falls apart for neglect.  Hell is being wrong, and knowing that I’m wrong, because the voices in my head are far crueler than those outside of it.

Well, that certainly explains why I avoid leading groups if at all possible.

What if I could change that?  What if I could change my own personal definition of hell?  What if I could be willing to face hell every day, for the bright and shining star of an idea?  I can face my fears, if I’m sufficiently motivated.  What would it take for me to be willing to be utterly wrong?  I think I know.